Background Image

The Beacon The Beacon November 6, 2014 : Page 1

BI S HOP I SS UE S P AS TOR A L LETTER ON GUIDELINE S FOR CA THOLI C FUNER A L S SUSSEX PASSAIC THE A W A RDWINNING NEW S P A PER OF THE R. C . DIO C E S E OF P A TER S ON, N.J. 8-9 MORRIS NOVEMBER 6, 2014 R EACHING O UT TO V ETERANS 6 S T. MI C H A EL C HUR C H HONORED BY THE C ITY Catholic Charities’ Supportive Services for Veterans Families is making a difference in lives By CECILE SAN AGUSTIN REPOR TER 3 NOTRE D A ME P A RI S HIONER BUILD S LIBR A RY FOR BIRTHRIGHT BEACON PHOTO | JOE GIGLI C ONGRATULATING N EWLY -I NSTALLED P ASTOR Father Raymond Orama was installed as the pastor of Blessed Sacrament Parish in Paterson at Mass celebrated by Bishop Serratelli Nov. 2. Following the installation Mass, parishioners congratulate their pastor. For story, photos, see page 2. 4 4-5 6 12-13 14-15 DO NOT DELAY — TIME SENSITIVE NEWS Y OUTH W HAT T O D O V IEWPOINT C LASSIFIEDS ST. P AUL INSIDE THE WALLS Parents learn about child’s stages of development, raising kids as leap of faith By MICHAEL WOJCIK NE WS EDIT OR MADISON Parents can learn to lean on their Catholic faith, in part, by looking at the often joyous and often difficult task of raising a child as “one big prayer.” Each day, parents can view their responsibilities as an offering of themselves up selflessly for the needs of their children. They also can offer up their intentions for God’s guid-ance through every stage of their devel-opment, each with its nagging questions from “Am I holding my infant enough?” to “Why is my teen-ager acting out?” That advice came from the vast expe-rience of clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Cocco and theologian and mother Cindy Costello, who quelled the fears and con-cerns of parents, grandparents and par-ents-to-be and gave them hope during their presentation, “What to Expect When Parenting: Parenting Our Children through the Ages.” The two presenters led parents in a discussion about the social and emo-tional development of their children and how parents can fulfill their needs, while also drawing strength from their faith. The event, which was hosted by diocesan Office of Family Life, was held Oct. 28 at St. Paul Inside the Walls: the Catholic Center for Evangelization at Bayley-Ellard here. “Parenting is one big prayer. It’s a leap of faith, because we don’t know how it’s going to turn out. It takes lots of prayer and discernment,” said Costello, an active parishioner of St. Thomas the Apostle, Sandyston; married mother of five; and certified instructor of the Theology of Body, the study of the human person — body, soul, and spirit and its role in sexuality, marriage and family. “Parenting can be exhausting, but God gives us the grace if ONE BIG PRAYER on 16 PATERSON Next Tuesday, Nov. 11, is Veterans Day, a federal legal holiday set aside in the United States to honor and re-member the brave men and women who have served in U.S. Armed Forces to protect the freedoms the nation enjoys. Here at diocesan Catholic Charities, every single day of the year is an opportunity to not only honor veterans who served their country but also to help them. Through its Supportive Services for Veterans Families (SSVF) department here, veterans can receive help with rental assis-tance, moving costs, utility payments, childcare expenses, se-curity deposits, supportive services and transportation costs. Since the opening of the department last year, more than 300 veterans and their families — struggling through difficult times — have been served bringing much needed hope to their lives. Today, Nov. 6, SSVF kicks-off its latest program, the S.O.S. Veterans Drop-In Center, which will be located at St. Bonaventure Parish here and be open from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. to provide services for vet-erans. Resource providers from var-ious veteran and community agen-cies will spend the day there and meet individually with veterans to assess their needs. Based on this ini-tial meeting and turnout, future dates will be set at the site. A NA S CHREINER “We owe a debt to these veterans who risked their lives to serve our country and spend months apart from their families,” said, Diane Silbernagel, executive director of Catholic Family and Community Services (CFCS), which oversees SSVF. Serving veterans in seven counties of northern New Jersey, diocesan Catholic Charities works together with the Archdiocese of Newark to fulfill a growing need in aid to veterans. According to Ana Schreiner, manager of community support services director for the SSVF collaboration, there are more than 8,000 homeless veterans in New Jersey. The number could possibly rise as New Jersey expects more veterans to be returning home from service in the Middle East. Silbernagel said, “The biggest problems right now are the lack of job op-portunities and housing for our veterans.” SSVF has already helped some of these young veterans in addition to veterans of all ages, who have served in World War II, Vietnam, Korea and the Gulf War. “We need to remember our veterans and give back to them.” MAKING A DIFFERENCE on 15

Parents Learn About Child’s Stages Of Development, Raising Kids As Leap Of Faith

Michael Wojcik

MADISON Parents can learn to lean on their Catholic faith, in part, by looking at the often joyous and often difficult task of raising a child as “one big prayer.” Each day, parents can view their responsibilities as an offering of themselves up selflessly for the needs of their children. They also can offer up their intentions for God’s guidance through every stage of their development, each with its nagging questions from “Am I holding my infant enough?” to “Why is my teen-ager acting out?”

That advice came from the vast experience of clinical psychologist Dr. Karen Cocco and theologian and mother Cindy Costello, who quelled the fears and concerns of parents, grandparents and parents- to-be and gave them hope during their presentation, “What to Expect When Parenting: Parenting Our Children through the Ages.” The two presenters led parents in a discussion about the social and emotional development of their children and how parents can fulfill their needs, while also drawing strength from their faith. The event, which was hosted by diocesan Office of Family Life, was held Oct. 28 at St. Paul Inside the Walls: the Catholic Center for Evangelization at Bayley-Ellard here.

“Parenting is one big prayer. It’s a leap of faith, because we don’t know how it’s going to turn out. It takes lots of prayer and discernment,” said Costello, an active parishioner of St. Thomas the Apostle, Sandyston; married mother of five; and certified instructor of the Theology of Body, the study of the human person — body, soul, and spirit and its role in sexuality, marriage and family. “Parenting can be exhausting, but God gives us the grace if He calls us to be parents. The storms in life will come, but God is the calm center. Bring your crosses to Him,” she said.

Together, Cocco and Costello used a PowerPoint slide presentation to help guide parents through the joys and difficulties of each stage of their child’s development from newborn to 19-years-old. They started with suggestions by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development that parents do the following: nurture self-esteem, set limits and be consistent, make time for their children, be a role model, make communication a priority, be flexible and show unconditional love.

“Parenting is the hardest and most underpaid job,” said Cocco, who earned a doctorate in clinical psychology from Rutgers University and is a parishioner of St. Theresa of Avila, Summit. “These principles apply throughout your child’s development, but what changes is how they manifest themselves. There are many ways to parent positively. There is no one right way,” she said.

Cocco also told participating parents, “Faith is most important. Parents also should model a prayer life for their children, which they will imitate. They will soak it up; they are like little sponges,” she said.

In the first stage, newborns to one-year-olds learn from their primary caregiver, learn through their senses, like to be held and cuddled and make their needs known through distinct cries. At this stage, parents should be consistent and calm and have realistic expectations. Between the ages of one and two, children enjoy adults; show themselves to be demanding, assertive and independent; play alone; are task-oriented; and have tantrums, Cocco said.

“Don’t underestimate the power and influence that you are having on your children,” said Cocco, who noted that as older people approach death, they often speak lovingly about their parents and look forward to reuniting with them in heaven. “Being consistent [in disciplining a child] is not easy. After a hard day at work, it’s easier to give in to the child. But you can [be consistent],” she said.

The difficult act of disciplining certainly requires parents to weather more than a few meltdowns from their children. Parents should remain calm during a tantrum. Parents also should guard against over-disciplining children, destroying some of their positive traits that will help them later in life, like a strong will that will aid them in confronting peer pressure. At all times, parents need to affirm their kids’ dignity, Costello said.

“There is a lot of teaching [in the younger ages]. Parents are the first catechists of their children, who teach them about beauty, nature and God,” Costello said. “Make sure that your home is a safe haven. Also make sure that your marriage is strong with love and understanding. Your children need to see loving interaction between mommy and daddy,” she said.

Cocco and Costello also moved through a child’s stages of development to the early teen years. At this time, kids withdraw from parents; feel that they are too restrictive and rebel; show interest in the opposite sex and worry about grades, appearance and popularity. Later, 16- to 19-year-olds has relationships with family that range from friendly to hostile; actively date; and appear moody, lonely, impulsive, self-centered, confused and stubborn, Cocco said.

“Teens have friends, but not many confidants. You are their confidants,” said Costello, who gave examples of daily acts of love and communication that she has done with her own children, such as texting “I love you” to them and coming up to their room with a bowl of cherries for a talk.

“What to Expect when Parenting” concluded with a question-and-answer session and remarks from Eni Fageyinbo-Honsberger, director of diocesan Family Life, who said that the Office of Family Life is trying to develop a ministry to everyone that marries sound psychology with sound theology.

“This discussion rolled out the psychological reasons behind why our children do what they do at each stage of life and how as parents we can spiritually nurture them as they develop into adulthood,” she said. “In Family Life, we want to speak to the practical needs of where people are at now.”

Information: (973) 377-1004.

Read the full article at http://www.livedigitaleditions.com/article/Parents+Learn+About+Child%E2%80%99s+Stages+Of+Development%2C+Raising+Kids+As+Leap+Of+Faith/1854610/232389/article.html.

Reaching Out To Veterans

Cecile San Agustin

Catholic Charities’ Supportive Services for Veterans Families is making a difference in lives

PATERSON Next Tuesday, Nov. 11, is Veterans Day, a federal legal holiday set aside in the United States to honor and remember the brave men and women who have served in U.S. Armed Forces to protect the freedoms the nation enjoys. Here at diocesan Catholic Charities, every single day of the year is an opportunity to not only honor veterans who served their country but also to help them.

Through its Supportive Services for Veterans Families (SSVF) department here, veterans can receive help with rental assistance, moving costs, utility payments, childcare expenses, security deposits, supportive services and transportation costs. Since the opening of the department last year, more than 300 veterans and their families — struggling through difficult times — have been served bringing much needed hope to their lives.

Today, Nov. 6, SSVF kicks-off its latest program, the S.O.S. Veterans Drop-In Center, which will be located at St. Bonaventure Parish here and be open from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. to provide services for veterans. Resource providers from various veteran and community agencies will spend the day there and meet individually with veterans to assess their needs. Based on this initial meeting and turnout, future dates will be set at the site.

“We owe a debt to these veterans who risked their lives to serve our country and spend months apart from their families,” said, Diane Silbernagel, executive director of Catholic Family and Community Services (CFCS), which oversees SSVF.

Serving veterans in seven counties of northern New Jersey, diocesan Catholic Charities works together with the Archdiocese of Newark to fulfill a growing need in aid to veterans.

According to Ana Schreiner, manager of community support services director for the SSVF collaboration, there are more than 8,000 homeless veterans in New Jersey. The number could possibly rise as New Jersey expects more veterans to be returning home from service in the Middle East. Silbernagel said, “The biggest problems right now are the lack of job opportunities and housing for our veterans.”

SSVF has already helped some of these young veterans in addition to veterans of all ages, who have served in World War II, Vietnam, Korea and the Gulf War.

Carl Perry, outreach worker for SSVF, said, “A lot of times veterans come here completely hopeless. As we talk to them, they start to believe that things will get better and you could see on their faces, they are no longer hopeless but now hopeful.”

Just recently, Perry helped a veteran in his late 40s, who needed a suit for a job interview. Perry looked for a suit at the clothing depot exclusively for veterans and their families at one of CFCS’ divisions, the Father English Community Center here. He found a suit for the veteran and delivered it himself to the veteran’s home.

“His interview was a next day and a few days later he called to thank me for his help and that he had gotten the job,” said Perry, a veteran who served in the U.S. Navy for four years.

In addition to providing social services to veterans, the SSVF hosts several meetings for veterans about understanding veterans benefits and veteran service providers stakeholder action meetings in different cities. At its last meeting, more than 200 veterans attended. Because of these meetings, changes have been made to help veterans, who spoke out on what they needed. This includes the Veteran Transportation Foundation, whose mission is to provide a full range of transportation needs for all veterans to their medical appointments. Also a bill was recently passed to help female veterans earn equal treatment and benefits to those of male veterans.

To better serve veterans, the department is seeking out volunteers especially other veterans who are looking to be involved. “We want vets to help other vets, whether it’s to organize social events or help with resume writing and interviewing skills,” said Silbernagel.

In addition, this Saturday, Nov. 8, a veteran resources and job fair will be held at the Culinary Conference Center in Jersey City from 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. There, veterans will have the opportunity to meet with employers and also learn about veteran services. Several workshops will be held, including interview skills, resume writing, enhancing job search skills and tips on opening a small business.

“Just recently we received a note from a woman veteran, who was formerly homeless,” Schreiner said. “We helped her find an apartment and there was no better feeling. We need to remember our veterans and give back to them.”

Information: Catholic Family and Community Services’ Supportive Services for Veteran Families, (973) 279-7100.

Read the full article at http://www.livedigitaleditions.com/article/Reaching+Out+To+Veterans/1854613/232389/article.html.

Next Page


Publication List
Using a screen reader? Click Here